When teaching cooking with “my guys”, I am not a professional cook; I am a human being, cooking. Just because we may dump too much cinnamon in an apple turnovers doesn’t mean we aren’t “good enough”; we just let it go and move forward. I want them to feel at ease when trying something new. I don’t want them to be tense with feelings of pressure to do it the “right” way or feel shame if they do it “wrong”. I want to leave room for creativity and mistakes and self acceptance because these are all part of life.
With no judgement we can feel safe to explore and emerge; we get a chance to see ourselves in a new light. There is a saying that “all we need to know we learned in kindergarten”. For me the kitchen is my kindergarten teacher. In the Tharros kitchen with “my guys” I get to witness what is possible.
Boston Area Structured and Supportive Sober Living- Starting at $3500 per month (Mens)
I am honored to be able to observe their personal development. I see stiff bodies, hunched shoulders, reluctance, doubt and vacant stares, at first. Then I see vulnerability, acquiescence and participation. Then I hear joking, pride and compliments. I feel the group’s energy …one “I’ll try it’ leads to another courageous “I’ll do it”. Witnessing what is possible when we feel acceptance from others is powerful.
Boston’s Structured Sober Living, Chelsea House, Shares:
- I want them to feel at ease when trying something new.
- With no judgement we can feel safe to explore and emerge; we get a chance to see ourselves in a new light.
- I want to leave room for creativity and mistakes and self acceptance because these are all part of life.
With sticky hands we rolled these beautiful gnocchi. As requested, I taught them how to cut open a chicken breast, like a book, pound it flat then “bread it” in flour, eggs and breadcrumbs. We made a mushroom, parsley, garlic and lemon sauce (not shown here) to bring it all together. On my first night of teaching cooking, in the Tharros kitchen, a home for recovering addicts, one of the guys blurted out “Are you gonna be comfortable working with 8 addicts?
Asking vulnerable questions in the kitchen encourages them to do the same when they step out into the world. When they get the hang of a skill, they can then turn to a buddy who needs assistance. We support each other’s path as well as to share what we have mastered. Some guys come naturally to working with dough, while others are more comfortable with a knife.
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”…My quick retort was “Yes, I am very much at home in a kitchen… Love the impact you are making and the relationships you are building with just time, a kitchen and acceptance. Please provide your verification details which will be used for claim procedure. Please provide your business email which will be use for claim procedure.
The next blunt question was “Are you recovered”? I wish the rest of the population was this honest, direct, real and open! “Yes, I said, I am a recovered bulimic.” How lovely to just be able to share the secret of my past like it was no big deal…so refreshing. Cooking with “my guys” at Chelsea House fills me with energy, hope and optimism. Last night we blanched, squeezed and finely chopped six bags of spinach Chelsea House to mix with ricotta, Parmesan and nutmeg.
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We may not fully accept ourselves in the moment but by showing up the possibilities are infinite. I’m so proud of these guys who are diligently working their recovery. Stepping out of themselves, entering the kitchen and asking “how do I separate an egg? “, “How do I get the thyme leaves off the stem? “, “How do I flip the scallopini without burning myself? “ Their courage brings me back each week; their progress is inspiring.
